Body Language and Dating: Decoding the Unspoken Signals Ft. @Bowtied_Owl

Body Language's Role in the Dating Game

May 21, 2023

What’s up guys, today we have a guest post from the Jungle’s resident Body Language whisperer, @Bowtied_Owl.

For the past year he’s been putting out solid content on all things non-verbal communication, and his timeline is a treasure trove of information about how to read other people’s body language.

I appreciate Bowtied_Owl for the excellent brain dump, and I invite all of you guys to give him a follow on twitter to check out more of his content.

Seriously, this stuff is useful beyond the world of dating, especially for those of you that work in sales.

With that said, let’s get started 🫡

Body Language and Dating: Decoding the Unspoken Signals

First and foremost, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this article. For those who don't know me, you can find me on Twitter at @Bowtied_Owl. I cover all things body language for personal growth & success, as it's an important tool I believe anyone can and should leverage to get a 'leg' up in life.

I've always been fascinated by psychology, but the thought of living on ramen noodles while pursuing a career in it didn't appeal to me. However, I found a way to merge my passion for psychology and body language to enhance my interpersonal skills.

Once I started practicing and mastering the art of understanding body language, my relationships improved significantly, and I became the go‐to person for reading people and situations. This eventually led to being asked to help with high‐stakes negotiations and various leadership roles throughout my career.

In this article, I wanted to explore the importance of body language in the dating world. Think of this as your 101 course to understanding the secret language of love. I will guide you through a few of the basic body language cues you should aim to display as a female or a male, what each cue conveys, and the body language signals you should look for in your date. We'll also discuss how to practice and improve your body language observation skills.

Body Language Cues for Females and Males: The Unspoken Rules of Attraction

Navigating the dating scene can be a challenge, but mastering the art of body language can significantly improve your chances of success. Communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and only 7% words.

To emphasize the importance of nonverbal communication, let's repeat that: communication is 55% non‐verbal.

This means our body language, facial expressions, and gestures can convey our emotions, intentions, and confidence levels more accurately than the words we say. By honing these body language cues, you can effectively convey your interest, establish a connection, and create a positive impression on your date. These secret weapons will not only help you build rapport but also increase your chances of achieving your dating goals.

Before diving into specific cues for females and males, here are a couple of "pro tips" that can be beneficial for everyone in terms of body language:

Leaning in: When engaging in conversation, lean in slightly towards your date to show interest and attentiveness. This can create a sense of intimacy and demonstrate that you are actively listening.
Facial expressions: Be aware of your facial expressions and aim to maintain a relaxed, open demeanor. This helps to convey your emotions genuinely and encourages your date to feel more at ease.

Now, let's take a look at the body language cues to focus on as a female or male when navigating the dating scene.

For Females:

Open body posture: An open body posture conveys confidence, approachability, and interest. Maintain a relaxed stance with your arms uncrossed and shoulders back to create a welcoming vibe.
Eye contact: Good eye contact is essential in establishing trust and showing interest. Lock eyes with your date, but remember to look away occasionally to avoid staring.
Genuine smiles: A genuine smile exudes warmth and positivity. Smiling not only conveys your happiness but also makes your date feel at ease.
Subtle touch: Lightly touching your date's arm or shoulder can indicate your interest and create a sense of intimacy without being too forward.
Mirroring: Mirroring your date's body language is a subtle way to build rapport and show that you are on the same wavelength.

For Males:

Confident posture: Stand tall with your chest out and shoulders back to project confidence and assertiveness. This signals that you're a strong and self‐assured individual. Make sure its natural, not stiff.
Strong eye contact: Similar to females, maintaining eye contact is vital for establishing trust and interest. Be attentive and focused on your date's eyes, but don't forget to blink!
Active listening: Show your date that you are engaged and interested in what they are saying by nodding, smiling, and asking follow‐up questions. This demonstrates that you value their thoughts and opinions.
Controlled gestures: Use controlled hand gestures to emphasize points and express enthusiasm without being overly animated or intimidating. Keep your movements smooth and natural.
Respect personal space: Be mindful of your date's personal space and avoid getting too close too quickly.

By practicing these body language cues, you'll be well on your way to creating a memorable and successful dating experience. Remember, consistency and authenticity are crucial in showcasing your true self. As you become more comfortable using these body language techniques, they'll become second nature, helping you build stronger connections and find the right partner on your dating journey.

Body Language Cues to Look for in Your Date: The Key to Understanding Their Feelings

Alright, now that you know the body language cues to exhibit, let's discuss the equally important task of decoding your date's nonverbal signals. Think of it as your key to understanding their feelings, helping you uncover how your date truly feels about you.

Positive signs:

Leaning in: If your date leans in towards you during conversation, this is a strong indicator of interest and attentiveness. They are actively engaged and want to create a sense of intimacy.
Consistent eye contact: When your date maintains consistent eye contact, it's a sign that they are genuinely interested in you and are focused on the conversation. It also demonstrates trust and openness.
Mirroring: If your date unconsciously mirrors your body language, it indicates that they feel connected and in sync with you. This can be a sign of strong rapport and compatibility.
Smiling and laughing: Genuine smiles and laughter show that your date is enjoying their time with you. It also suggests that they feel comfortable and relaxed in your presence.

Negative signs:

Closed body language: If your date displays closed body language, such as crossing their arms or hunching their shoulders, it can indicate discomfort or disinterest. They may be feeling guarded or not quite at ease.
Fidgeting: Excessive fidgeting, such as playing with their hair or tapping their fingers, can be a sign of nervousness or boredom. It may indicate that they are not fully engaged in the conversation.
Looking around: If your date frequently looks around the room or at their phone, it could be a sign that they are not fully present or interested in the conversation. Their focus might be elsewhere.
Monosyllabic responses: Short, one‐word answers may indicate disinterest, shyness, or a lack of rapport. It could be a sign that your date is not fully engaged in the conversation or feels uncomfortable.

When you observe negative signs, it's important to remember that it might not be a reflection of your compatibility. Your date could be having an off day, feeling nervous, or simply adjusting to the situation. If you notice these cues, there are a few additional strategies you can try to help improve the situation:

Change the environment - If you sense your date is uncomfortable, suggest a change of scenery, such as going for a walk or moving to a quieter spot. A change in the environment might help your date feel more at ease and open up. Focus on shared interests: Try to steer the conversation towards topics that both of you are interested in or passionate about. This can create a more engaging conversation and help build a connection.

Compliment them genuinely - Offer a sincere compliment to your date, which can help boost their confidence and create a more positive atmosphere. Be sure to keep it genuine and not overly flattering.

Show empathy - If your date appears to be feeling nervous or uncomfortable, express understanding and empathy. Reassure them that it's normal to feel a bit anxious during a date, and that you're also trying to get to know them better. Lighten the mood: Inject some humor into the conversation to lighten the mood and make your date feel more at ease. Laughter can help break down barriers and create a more relaxed atmosphere.

Be patient - Some people take longer to open up than others. Be patient and give your date the space and time they need to become more comfortable. Remember, it's essential to be attentive to your date's body language and adapt your approach accordingly.

By staying attuned to their nonverbal cues and employing these strategies, you can create a more enjoyable and successful dating experience for both you and your date.

How to Start Observing Body Language: Becoming the Love Detective

To avoid looking like you're conducting a scientific experiment during your date, it's essential to practice controlling your own body language first. Begin by becoming more self‐aware and paying attention to how you present yourself in various social situations. Experiment with different body language cues and notice how others respond to you. This will help you become more comfortable with your own body language, making it easier to observe others.

When you're ready to start observing your date's body language, begin with the feet and work your way up. Our feet can reveal a lot about our true feelings since they're less consciously controlled. For example, if your date's feet are pointed towards you, it generally indicates interest, while feet pointed away might suggest they're planning their escape.

As you move up from the feet, observe the legs, torso, arms, hands, and face. Look for the cues mentioned earlier in this article and try to determine whether your date is displaying positive or negative body language. Then make the necessary adjustments.

Approach body language as a gradual learning process, and don't put too much pressure on yourself to master it all at once. By slowly building your skill set and staying authentic, you'll be able to communicate more effectively without coming across as robotic or overly analytical. In the end, a natural and genuine approach to dating will always be the most attractive and successful.

Body Language and Dating: Putting It All Together

In conclusion, understanding and mastering body language is a valuable skill that can significantly enhance your dating experiences. By practicing the cues mentioned in this article and becoming more aware of your own body language and that of your date, you'll be better equipped to navigate the complex world of dating and build meaningful connections.

As you continue your journey, remember that the primary goal is to be yourself and have fun. Body language is a secondary skill that should complement and enhance your authentic self, not overshadow it. Take your time to learn and develop these skills, and avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. With practice and patience, you'll soon become a master of the unspoken signals that can help you create successful and enjoyable dating experiences.

Thank you for reading, and I hope this article has provided valuable insights and practical tips for your dating adventures. Feel free to connect with me on Twitter at @Bowtied_Owl, where I continue to share my passion for body language and personal growth. Good luck and happy dating!