What’s up guys, today we have a guest post from a good friend in the Jungle,
.German is our resident fashion expert, dropping excellent alpha about all things mens fashion.
Since his arrival in the Jungle, he and I have exchanged “war stories” from our days picking up women, and I asked him if he’d like to pen a guest post focusing on how to dress for first dates. I trust that his knowledge of aesthetics will serve all of you greatly as you go out into the dating world.
If you enjoy this content and want additional information on all things male fashion, check out German’s Substack, which goes into detail on all these things.
I really appreciate German for writing all this out, I’ve personally used a few of his fashion tips to improve my wardrobe, and I’m sure you’ll learn a few lessons aswell.
Alright, over to German *salute*
First Date Fashion
Hello Friends.
Today we will step back and take ownership of a criminally overlooked aspect of dating life that does not get as much attention as it deserves: dressing for the first date.
Note this also applies to subsequent dates and life in general.
When you go out with a girl, she is assuming the role of your escort for the night.
No, not escort in the sense of her leaving your bedroom with smeared lipstick later in the evening, but rather that she is “your girl” for the evening, tagging along for the adventure you have planned (however loosely) for the both of you.
Put yourself in her shoes. If she’s going to be by your side all night, it makes logical sense that she wants you to look your best, right?
Remember, girls are just as much about how good you look as they are about how they look to other girls when they’re by your side. As the saying goes, “girls don’t buy clothes to impress men, they buy clothes to impress other girls”.
To a certain degree, the same goes for men. She doesn’t just want you to look good for the sake of being her eye candy; she wants to be with someone worth *being seen* with.
PICTURE THIS
Here comes the average modern male to a Wednesday evening date at a bar in the young adult dating district of major US metro. Probably just came from work and didn’t have time to change out of his work polo and khakis. Building badge still dangling from the belt loop. Hair slightly disheveled in a not-so-flattering way from rubbing his fingers through it a hundred times before 3pm because his job fucking sucks. Slight air of defeat written on his face. The shoes he wears every day to his “three days on site per week” job are starting to look a bit flaky.
Why would any self-respecting woman want to roll with an obviously beaten down larva of a man who is telegraphing “I make 65k a year” with his outfit and PNC bank debit card? Whether or not she respects herself is a song for another time, you get the idea.
Today we will do our part to inject some good into the world and make some women happy, through the medium of making you look like a snack.
Checklist
One of the core tenets at BTG is that outfits should enhance what is already there. Relying on colors, patterns, cuts and styles to somehow hide the fact you have a bad physique is a lesson in futility. An overly snazzy fashion sense may land you the odd deep Brooklyn 5 but that’s no way to go through life.
You need to look in the mirror and ask yourself what it is you have to offer a woman. Picking the right outfit may telegraph that you know something about fashion, but they don’t convey the deeper sense of being well put together that clear healthy skin, a solid physique, straight posture etc. all do. These are primal lizard brain aspects of a person that ignite a lot more than the pattern of a shirt or material of one’s pants.
Before you intend to be successful with women you must be someone worth dating, full stop. BTG is here to add the banana, spray on the whipped cream and place the cherry on top; not concoct the entire sundae.
Now that expectations have been managed, let’s move forward.
Dos and Don’ts
If you follow me on twitter, you know that a great deal of fashion advice boils down to what *not* to do. There is a stronger emphasis on the passive side of everyday menswear because what most guys suffer from is little faux pas and casual sins that ruin an otherwise acceptable or even decent outfit.
The biggest “don’ts” include, but are not limited to
- Wearing a white T shirt under a polo or oxford button up
- Wearing running shoes or athletic sneakers with jeans
- Overdressing poorly e.g. wearing a suit that isn’t tailored
- Not wearing a pocket square with a suit jacket
- Wearing any shirt with a bacon collar
- Not filling out the sleeves of a polo (or any shirt that isn’t naturally relaxed fit)
- Wearing a leather jacket over any sort of formalwear
- Visible socks at any point
- Not wearing a belt
- Out of style or overly gaudy jewelry e.g. earrings, rings
- Wearing cheap or weather inappropriate outerwear e.g. hoodies, non-earth toned shells
- Unless the venue is very casual and you’ve already been on a few dates with the person, don’t wear athletic wear on a date. This includes joggers
- Wearing shorts
Now that you’ve read and acknowledged the most common sins, we can get into what you should actively be seeking to do when you’re picking your outfit. Below will lay the groundwork for building out a go-to date night fit that won’t induce decision fatigue.
- Wear shirts that accentuate your physique (tailored, slim fit, signature fit from the usually shilled brands)
- Shirts, polos, oxford button ups, flannels all work if they adhere to the standard purported above
- Wear smart jewelry e.g. analog watch, rope bracelet, and generally limit to wrists
- Leather shoes impress above all else, especially boots
- Outerwear should be classic and project a mature vibe. Black or otherwise earth toned bombers, Barbour jackets, quality parkas (if it’s freezing) win out above most
- Shirts with buttons make you look smarter fashion wise. The date night Henley is a real thing that has much anecdotal support (pull sleeves halfway up forearm). Polos are a plus if otherwise dressed down
- One spray of cologne, applied directly to your chest
- Seriously wear a belt
- Clean, fitted stylish jeans will work in 95% of cases
There is a lot of fine tuning that goes into creating the perfect date night outfit depending on venue, what number date, whether you’ve copulated etc. The most barebones advice anyone can give is that clean jeans, leather dress boots, a well fitted long sleeve Henley and a watch remains the core fundamental choice most of the time.
Bonus: Under no circumstances be that guy who shows up in the manosphere special. This being; a full suit with no tie, two or three buttons yeeted, a flamboyantly colored pocket square folded likewise, excessive flashy jewelry and shoes that were obviously offloaded under a clearance sale for being too tacky.
The mantra of “just wear a suit lel” is overrated and not intuitive to how normal, everyday dating works. No you’re not special because you were around in 2015 and know who G Manifesto is (you likely weren’t).
Editor’s Note: You have to be genuine to yourself, but realize that overdressing just makes you look like a clown. You are telegraphing the message that you have zero social awareness, which is severely unattractive. Stick to the basics and you can’t really go wrong.
First Date Flow
We’ll open this portion with some alpha.
Contrary to your mom’s favorite Hallmark movies starring *mildly attractive woman of ambiguous age* getting taken to the respective movie’s equivalent of Dorsia on a Friday night at 8pm, the first few dates will not happen over a bottle of vintage with a skyline view.
The first couple of times meeting in public is when most of the groundwork for the relationship is set. Standard issue fun tests will be flowing but nothing overtly challenging unless she’s a legitimate psycho. Thus, the goal is to create an environment that’s personable and furnishes the opportunity to pull her into your world and show her you’re a good time.
The best way to frame a first date is by (not obviously) allowing it to parlay into an adventure of sorts, granted you like the girl and want her to come along with you. If you do coffee, and you don’t go hop in the sack right after, parlay it into drinks. If drinks go well, and you don’t go hop in the sack right after, go to dinner. You get the idea.
Editor’s Note: This is SERIOUSLY good alpha. Being able to weave a date into an entire evening/story is powerful. You create a powerful memory with her, and you automatically stand out from the crowd of other average joes that just take their dates to [standard millenial/gen z bar in town].
In accordance with this you want to be dressing not only for the primary venue, but for the possibility of hitting up subsequent venues as well. This rules out meeting up for coffee in full lululemon after you’ve both had your respective Saturday morning workouts.
What works in most settings remains the BTG special. Be it a coffee shop, bar, standard issue urban restaurant, nightclub; the combination of fitted top underlayer, clean dark jeans, leather dress boots and tasteful wrist jewelry runs the game. If that’s too underdressed for a venue, you probably shouldn’t be there for a first night out.
The best way to enhance your outfit for these occasions is through a smart choice in outer layer. If it’s cooler out, a waxed cotton jacket or quilted lined bomber makes you look like you come prepared and know how to dress like a man. You can even up the ante by adding a scarf or leather gloves. If you live in a warmer climate, you can still add to the masculinity factor by rocking a shell layer bomber or Harrington.
It doesn’t take an autist to notice the common theme here. Wearing clothes that are congruent, stylish, and classically masculine will enhance your look and induce the halo effect in her eyes. You will feel more confident, which will translate to your behavior, and everything scales from there. Tend to the small stakes, and the big bets will take care of themselves.
All you need to do is avoid the most common pitfalls, adhere to the basics laid out and you will be outperforming 90% of other guys in aesthetics. Once you become dialed on the entire humanities portion of the jungle, it’s safe to say you will be nothing short of unstoppable.
Ox – Lifting and fitness
Fawn – Skincare (yes you need skincare as a man)
Apollo – Culture (be an interesting conversationalist)
Gator – Oral hygiene
And of course, Cuda for all your intuitive dating needs
Closing Remarks
That was a pretty stellar write up, with some free alpha thrown in for you guys.
German is a stand up guy, with years of experience playing the field, so his fashion advice is doubly useful because he’s put it to work and has seen it deliver results.
Like I mentioned I’ve personally put his advice to use.
I’ve cleaned out my closet from pieces I never touch, have added a few very specific items that have added flexibility and style to my wardrobe, and I’ve received a few compliments from women about the way I dress.
In particular, I have to seriously recommend LuluLemon, Cuts, and a waxed cotton jacket as places to start.
Many thanks to German for the write-up, please drop any additional questions you have for him below.