Life by the Numbers Pt. 2 - The Evolution of Money & Relationships
How to Navigate the Financial Journey of Modern Love
In case you missed it, Last week’s post was a little stunning.
$80K (pre-tax) per year, and a family of 4 is barely scraping by in our current economy.
Brother, that is bleak.
You probably hadn’t even thought of the problem, and why would you? You’re likely young, fit, successful for your age group, you’re the “master of your domain.”
WRONG.
My gut feel tells me that this has been a reality check for many people in the community, many of you replied and sighed so heavily that I could feel it through the screen.
One reader's email summed up the collective concern perfectly. He asked his accountant dad to help him plan a future budget with a stay-at-home spouse, a white picket fence, and a couple of toddlers might look like.
Spoiler: It’s no walk in the park.
“$200k basically would just barely make it, and todays interest rates make that even tougher.”
Fuck.
So where does that leave us?
Well, again, I like being an optimist, and I genuinely believe that any of us are capable of achieving our goals if we put enough effort/consistency toward them.
I think it’s important to realize that your dating/relationship needs will evolve over time, and early on in the dating process, you don’t need to be clearing 300K to win someones heart (although it does help).
Put in a different way, your approach to finances will evolve as you go from dating to diapers.
Life isn’t static, and neither are the costs that come with it.
So, how do we prepare?
How do we ensure that, while our families grow, our finances don't shrink to the point of tension and stress?
After all, Finances are responsible for a significant amount of divorces.
Disclaimer
Look, the topic of finances is a difficult one for most people, because most of us suffer from some insecurity tied to money.
Some of the most “money-anxious” people I now are the people pulling in massive amounts of cash, so don’t psyche yourself out over these things.
Know that I, Barracuda, do not judge you.
Instead, it’s as if your older, wiser, more green and scaly brother is giving you some advice on the patio after a long night out.
Seriously, zero judgements, this is a safe space (lol).
*Also* - while everything I’m writing about below is useful for anyone of any gender to read, let’s be real, this is mainly directed at men.
I am aware that modern relationships exist, where people share financial burdens in a more “modern” way. Nonetheless, I know of zero women that don’t prefer whenever I pay for the bill.
Such is life.
Phase 0: Flying Solo - Financial Foundations
Before we get ahead of ourselves and start talking about life in a relationship, we have to align where the rubber meets the road, being single.
For those of you with more than 1 braincell, this will be obvious.
If you are living paycheck to paycheck on your own, man… you really have bigger problems than getting laid, respectfully.
Your priority as a single pringle is to figure out some financial system that makes sense for you that achieves AT LEAST the following:
Covers all of your base needs (food, water, living, utilities, gym) WITHOUT living paycheck to paycheck.
Helps you save money in case of a rainy day/for retirement.
Provides for some fun that does not put you into crippling debt.
Allows you to pay down some of your debt, if you have any.
Simple, not too hard.
The most important aspect of this “phase” is developing/nailing healthy habits that will help carry you through every other phase of life, and will lay the financial foundation for your family in the future.
Personally, I would recommend that most of you put dating on the back burner while you achieve these goals, simply because if you can’t sustain your own life without going into debt, what the hell are you doing trying to bring a second person into your life?
If you can handle these few things, then you are ready to add on more complexity, which means more spending into your life.
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